Many people have made the comment in the last few days, "I don't know how you do this. I couldn't make it through something like this". It didn't hit me until today when I was listening to a great song that one of my great friends brought to my attention, Bring the Rain by MercyMe (video is posted below). I remember telling Mark those very words when we were worried about getting stuck in the court closures in August. I have made it through that and so much more. I think sometimes we second guess just how strong we can be and most of the time we are not even looking at where that strength comes from. You see, when I can't stand anymore, when I feel like I can go on I know in my heart there is someone that loves me and will give me what I need when I need it, including the strength to make it through the rain! When the rain pours down on us we tend to drown in it, in the negative in the why me's. I have found over the last year when the rain pours down I just let it pour over me, I know that the rain is coming for a reason and that someone bigger than me is holding me so that I don't have to drown in the why me! What good does that do anyway. There are so many things that I thought would absolutely crush me in this adoption journey, not seeing the first time my son sits up, tries more than formula, smiles, crawls, stands, etc. In reality (and the reality didn't come until I was ready to face it) these things are strengthing me. Why they are happening I don't know, I don't need to know. The future is already decided for our family and we plan to embrace it. We turn our praises in the rain to the one that is always there. And I mean always there, when we can't walk He is carrying us. When we breakdown and cry, His arms are around us. So when people say "I don't think I would be able to make it through", I smile and say "you are stronger than you think, you would be able to make it through and you never know what you can handle until it is given to you". What a testimate of faith our son is going to have because we never said "We can't make it through"! Someone just posted on our yahoo group the following line from a devotion "Most people glance at God and gaze at circumstances. We need to gaze at God and glance at circumstances!" I am so thankful that I have been gazing at God and when we do that the circumstances don't seem to be quite so bad! Enjoy the song below, it may just be one of my new favorite songs!
Bring the Rain