Since I talked to Kristen Monday I have been praying to God constantly for one thing: Strength. Strength to wait for the next call that says you are travelling, strength to not be terrified of what comes next (packing really fast!), strength to make it through day to day, strength for my friends that are still waiting for news to bring their baby home, strength for all who are on this adoption journey with us. Strength is a funny thing. I remember way back when we received Daniel's referral telling Mark "I don't have the strength to make it through court closures". That was 9 months ago! I have tried to pay attention to how many times a day I hear someone say, including myself, I don't have the strength, I can't make it through, I can't do this. Travelling makes me nervous and then adding a 1 year old that doesn't know me and I have never been a mom to a 1 year old before makes me even more nervous, for these 2 things specifically I question "Do I have the strength". Answer is yes and if I don't God will give it to me! It has been that way through every stage of this journey. We always seem to doubt ourselves and our capablilites but with God we don't have to! He will give us what we need, when we need it to get through whatever situation he puts us in. We all have the strength we just have to trust in God to give it to us. God gives us the strength is different ways too. It may come in the form of a friend who is extremely encouraging and offers to come pack for you if you can't do it! It may be a card you read in a store or receive in the mail. For me a big source of my strength is the love of my life, my husband. He picks up the pieces when I can't. I thank God for all the people he puts in my life to help provide me with the strength I need. We could be travelling any day now so I definitely need His strength to not completely freak out when we get that call that we can travel in 5 days (I am slightly OCD and last minute travel plans make me nervous). So basically in all my rambling the bottom line is we are stronger than we think when God is on our side! I came across this verse today, it kind of sums up how I made it through this journey so far:
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Isreal,
Praying for strength today for all who are waiting!